Greetings from the Washington, D.C. suburbs.

It’s the end of Week 6 of staying-at-home. And, I think that my family and I have adapted remarkably well to sharing our modest square footage and internet bandwidth, to attend to our daily work and educational needs.

In fact, I am so resource efficient that I have lots more time to explore my new pastime: Google Trends.

Actually, it is more than a pastime.

I am using Google Trends to see what you all are obsessing over. After a mere three hours of query matching, I have narrowed down your current week’s neuroses to two trending topics: work and hair.

Behold:

According to Walmart, Coronavirus panic shopping has pivoted you from toilet paper to hair dye.

In my household, our college student daughter—who is bored to tears—ordered from Amazon two bottles of Nutresse Dark Reddish Brown 452; she’s gone from her natural Veronica Lake blonde tresses to Rita Hayworth in the movie, Gilda. I thought I’d hate it, and I was not at all pleased to scrub the stubborn hair dye stains from her bathroom sink and countertop, but her new shade is quite pretty.

Our daughter is not alone.

Many members of the workforce, anxious that they have not had a professional cut-and-color in weeks, are going the DIY route. For men, who typically care less about going gray and more with not looking like Tom Hanks in the movie Cast Away, the new obsession is the cordless Wahl trimmer.

And the reason for this is abundantly clear: many members of the workforce are staging weekly Zoom sessions with co-workers and clients. Wearing baseball caps and babushkas to cover the rat’s nest is getting old…and weird.

Of course, not all self care is good care. Cases in point, Anderson Cooper, Blake Shelton, and Pink:

Dayum!

We miss our personal stylists.

Danielle, the 23-year-old dynamo who renders me a respectable looking human being, worked grueling 12-hour shifts before the Commonwealth of Virginia shut down her busy salon. For many of her clients, Danielle doubled as a psychotherapist; she listened attentively to their struggles dealing with the absurdity of life and work. Goodness knows the backlog she will have when the COVID-19 “all-clear” sounds.

In the meantime, it is really important to keep a professional look as we engage with the world on Zoom. Do your best, but please don’t overdo it.

I promise that our best days lie ahead.

DAN SMOLEN is founder of The Dan Smolen Experience, LLC. He is also the executive producer and host of The Tightrope Podcast.  Please comment here to let us know how we are doing, and, to offer suggestions for future guests and topics. Also, please catch up with our past blog posts, like this one and this one.  

Image credits: Woman coloring hair at home, Adam Lazar for iStock Photo; Google Trends screen shot 4/25/2020; Anderson Cooper haircut fail, YouTube.